Thinking about Transitions

This post is to help me sort out something that is on my mind and may not make any sense to anyone else...... sort of like looking for a lighthouse in a personal fog. I have a friend. Someone who I have been very close to for the past 9 years. She knows all my secrets and all my darkness, and she knows my light and goodness, too. Recently, she and I have been struggling to build a new type of friendship / relationship. It is different than it has been in the past. In the past, I have relied on her and have been so very supported with unconditional love - always. And, my feelings for her were returned just the same. This type of friendship and acceptance in life is rare and I feel so blessed to have been loved this way by another human being. Well, now, we find ourselves in a strange place. I am SO much better mentally, emotionally and spiritually than I have been in my entire life and now, this friendship is changing and it feels so sad to me. It is sad that we no longer spend hours talking and working through difficult challenges and deep secrets - not sad that there is no longer the need to spend these hours talking, but sad that neither of us has the time or energy for these type of talks. So, here we are, 2 women who care deeply about each other as friends, but working to find a meaningful friendship that is still based on a sacred past, but hoping for a different future. All this probably makes no sense to those reading, but to me, it is a difficult time in my life. Working to keep a friendship alive and yet, not wanting this friendship to be as it has always been. We love each other and hold each other in high regard in each other's hearts, but now, we are moving on in life and we need to find a way to stay together in the midst of transitions and changes....it is a beautiful time in life when the support that was there is no longer needed in that way, yet a sad time that the shared experiences and spiritual amazement are no longer going to be part of our lives. Our talks were always accompanied by God's love and the Spirit, and sometimes, we swore we could see angels supporting both of us in a hammock of caring. I will be great - I land on my feet often and it is all going to work out how it needs to work out, but longing for those amazing, healing talks and walks, but looking forward to figuring out how we can "be" without needing the past to keep us connected......